Today is 4th of July in the afternoon, my birthday. I can only wonder whether you would remember this day, as I always remembered yours. Spending this day without is far from complete. You are missing.
If only you were here, we would go out to a delicious dinner tonight, with Emak and Engkong, and koko Dhison… Oh and I forgot to tell you that Marcus, my friend from Canada, is living with me now. I don’t know if you’d remembered him, but we stayed over at his place once. I can only regret, that I spent that day talking about music with him all day long, and you played on your own. I can only regret. For I know you grow up, and soon you will be a teenager. Everything will be different.
I don’t even know what will you think about me as you become a teenager. All I can hope is that you will remember how much I care for you despite of everything that happened. Some of this – what had happened to you, to us – is because of me. I can’t blame myself enough, to lose you. But weeping doesn’t mean anything. So Christy dear, I will fight for you. I will keep on searching for you, even though it means I cannot spare for anything else anymore. I just want to see you. Find me.
Love,
Papi